You wake up in the morning and get your kids dressed and ready to go to preschool. Walk out to your car. Hop in. Make sure everyone is buckled up and you are on your way. Simple enough, right?

Well, that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

Last April we found out our youngest son has Sensory Processing Disorder. If you have a child with SPD or have someone close to you that does, then you may already be familiar with the stress and difficulties that go along with parenting a child that does. If you don’t, well for us it’s rough.

Around age 1 1/2 we started to notice some of his symptoms. He is a typical “crash and bang” kid, clumsy, walks not just on his toes, but the tops of his feet too, and all transitions are unbearable for him. We had him evaluated a couple times and it wasn’t until he was 2 1/2 that he finally qualified for services. Now, each week our little guy has over 5 hours of therapy, a combination of Occupational, Speech, and Special Ed.

With the help of three wonderful therapist, my son has been making tremendous progress over the past several months. Unfortunately over the last several weeks, he has had some major set backs like fighting to get dressed or removing his clothes, refusing to get in his car seat, major meltdowns while being in public and let’s not even talk about diaper changes. I am spending anywhere from 3-5 hours a day in a physical fight with my 3 year old and I am tired. He has incredible strength and his stubbornness is stronger.

I have had an extremely hard time coming to terms with my son’s SPD. As a parent, you just want the best for your children and this is not the way I pictured parenting. I realize now, I just need to let go of that perfect idea of being a stay at home mom that takes her kids to parks, the library, museums, and special events with other moms and kids. These things just aren’t in the cards for us. Part of my metal struggle is that he is such an incredibly sweet kid and I hate to have to see him go through this. His personality is incredibly charming and very captivating.

Another difficult part of all of this is seeing how my younger son’s SPD is affecting our 4 year old. It is heartbreaking. I end up spending so much time fighting my 3 year old that by the time I am finished I just have nothing left to give and my older son. He sometime gets the short end of the stick and knows it.

Through this whole process, our entire family is learning so much. For starters I had no idea what SPD was until I found myself in the middle of it. We are learning our son’s triggers and coping methods for all of us. If you have never witnessed a sensory meltdown before, let me tell you, it is completely different than a temper tantrum.

I know I am so lucky to have these two beautiful boys in my life and I cherish ever moment, the good and bad, I spend with them each day. We have just hit a rough patch.

With everything going on here, I have decided to take a step back from the blog and really focus on the needs of my family. Every day is truly unpredictable and can be completely different from the next. I still plan to be involved in the blog, but until we get a handle on our family challenges, you may see a little less of me around here. Erin may be flying solo for a little bit. If you have a minute, please provide her with some additional bloggy support. Thanks for your understanding!